I Poop In My Kitchen

Most mornings I wake up before my wife and kids. I walk into my kitchen, make some coffee and put on hot water for oatmeal and Elena’s tea.. I then do a 180 degree turn to go to the bathroom. After that I go to the sink ( passing the refrigerator on the way) to brush my teeth.
You see my kitchen is my bathroom, and my bathroom is my kitchen. Elena likes to call it our bathinette.
Our bedroom is also our living room, dining room, and the kids bedroom.
Most of you know that we live in a small 600 square foot cabin in the middle of the redwoods.
Below are cabin is the Eel river, which this time of year is raging, and looks like a nice cup of chocolate milk Watch out though, one drink of this water and you may be squirting the same chocolate milk out for a week (if you know what I mean).
The back of our cabin has a large douglas fir tree leaning against it, which makes the cabin slant a bit.

It may seem like I’m bitter, but really, I’m not. It is hard sometimes though, when Elena and I are in the kitchen/bathroom together, and she’s trying to cook and I need something, or vice versa. We have learned a new dance doing this. I don’t have a name for it yet, but if you think of one feel free to tell me. I do, however, have a favorite move, it is called, “Elbow drop onto the collar bone”. You could try this fancy move at home. You raise up you arm like your getting something from the top shelf, at just the right moment you bring your elbow down right on your wife’s collar bone. I haven’t perfected this move yet, but I do get some opportunities to practice